The Collective Thoughts Of A Scattered Mind: August 2009

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Only appropriate cause this is the only dance I appreciate and makes me laugh.

There was actually a dougie battle the other night.

Hella fun

Go ahead and rip this one to shreds like any dance in the valley.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Fuck me.

I'm really trying to better myself as a person on a conscious and personal level but the devil on my shoulder still says "Fuck It" so loud that I'm almost always conflicted these days within my own damn skull. It's getting extremely difficult to think. How do you actually become a good person when you don't care about others like that? I was raised to fend for myself and do by my own. But when I become dependent on anything, it's never a good thing. It's like I'm an addict and I can't quit my mental drugs. Relieving my emotional stress and anger on my indecent sarcasm and rude remarks to keep people away. If i become a "good person", I still will not like people. How will I keep people away from me then? It's not even like you can just become a good person but I'm really stressing myself out and second guessing my actions after I do it as of late. I'm trying to become a man and stop with the ditching responsibility shit. I want others to make a conscious decision if we are friends or not, off who I am, and or what I aspire to be. Not the car I could drive if my mother cared enough to buy me. Or the Bape I could floss if she spent a quarter of the cash she throws around on my wardrobe. Fuck that shit. I'm trying become a man of my actions and words.

It's time to grow the fuck up.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

This is my last week.

This is my last week of Drinking

This is my last week of obvious ignorance

This is my last week of being nice to people I have no interest in

This is my last week of not assuming responsibility.

I have acquired a lot of consequences over this summer. Lost Friends and those close to me. Learned new names and faces though I have no interest in any of them. My lisence is about to be revoked Sept. 3rd because I double the speed limit on the freeway on the fourth of July. For no reason at all. These need to stop. I have a crack in my left wheel of Mustang from racing after I got my already ridiculous ticket. These need to stop.

I guess this is just my note for myself on I need to grow up. Hopefully things are too in the shitter because I miss alot of my past and hopefully somethings can be salvaged.

Maybe one day I'll be able to fully vent but I know I'm starting boxing again to get out my pent up frustration. I'm done for now

Monday, August 24, 2009

Poetry Lounge Tomorrow.

Spittin Throwbacks.

10Depp's new mixtape has brightened my mood 10x over again.

Pop them thangs thangs.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Wow.

Wait..at the end of it all it was you. It was you. At the end of it all it was you. And at the end. It was you. And at the end of it all.

Looking, for how I see it, when I finally realized, couldn't believe it. I couldn't, even swallow. Had a lump in my throat, stomach hollow. I had a notion that things were fishy, but everything was fine so why get pissy? But nights you wasn't seein me was when you gets it in. Thats when the stupidest shit would begin. 'Where you at' 'Where you goin'. Is all i get when I pick up the phone. Not a 'Hello' or 'I miss you'. Or even 'Hows The Renaissance, and hows it do'. Suspicious ones, though few. Can stress out ya brain, it weighs on you man. I had to peep game cause I thought it was me but in the end it was you.

It's you. At then end of it all it was you. And at the end. It was you. At the end of it all. It's you. It's you. At then end of it all it was you.

- Q-Tip