My father's favorite story.

Two monks approach a river. There is a desperate elderly woman crying along the bank. "What could be troubling you so deeply?" The first monk asks. "Why I've been stuck at this river all day and my bones aren't strong to weather the current", the old woman replies. "Well hop on my back and we'll make it across together." The second monk looks on in astonishment and worry as he reminds his friend how its illegal to let the woman ride him across the river, but the first monk pays him no mind. So they make it across the river and it's several more miles into the monks journey. "I still can't believe you let the woman ride you across the river like that, you know how illegal it is." The first monk takes a few more paces before responding then calmly and cooly says "My friend I simply carried that old woman across the river, but it is you who has carried her the miles since."

Soooo Tired

I'm like a walkin zombie dreading the hundreds of dollars i have because I know exactly where they all need to go. Bills, Fines, And car repairs. Like how could this be right at all!? I really find myself walking around with aimless purpose kinda in a daze. I really need to catch up on sleep and get back in this school routine cause I'm losing my mind.

One Eight.

18 is such a fucked up age. Everyone expects you to be a man or grown about your shit but really you're just 17 with the ability to fuck your life over with "no one" to save you. I hate that parents say 18 and your out. Thats the dumbest shit I could ever imagine. Parents should let you live while you're young and then pay closest attention when you turn 18 and slowly but surely realize the shit you can get yourself into. Christ it's the time of your life when you are extremely hormonal and apt to do some really retarded shit. (Trust). I turn 19 today. And it actually does feel different. I feel like i weathered my first step into reality and survived with only a couple thousand dollars in fees and warrants. Fuck 18. Those who go hard and celebrate it, nothing against you. But you have no idea what you're really getting yourself into.

Ok Ok

So maybe Valley college ain't half bad. I'm feelin the people, the location, and the stress free environment. You rarely see the random white kid with the rollin backpack tryna bust a 100 meter dash to his next class. The trees give shade and I know a damn good portion of people here randomly from this wild summer. I'll be undergrad transferring to USC next year just to have the prestigious diploma in my pocket to do w/e with. Just got out of my counseling apt. and realized how easy that will be. Finally on a realistic track and not thinking about trying to change my mind if that makes any sense. Everybody is happy and it's contagious. Finally doin shit right. Nothin really missing this time around.

Sooo happy they actually made a video finally!!

Its everything I expected it to be.

I'm exhausted

My days no longer end when I choose them too and I no longer have the luxury of staying up to the break of dawn because I have way to much shit to do and or think about. On I now have Classes from 8 to bout 1230. Then track 2 to bout 430. Then work from 5 to 7. I'm exhausted after all this to the point of not even wanting to talk.

Sidenote.

My license is being revoked tomorrow morning. As I'm sure most know I got a rediculous speeding ticket along with riding in the shoulder and blah blah dumb I know. Well I have the court date for it tomorrow. My birthday present from my mother is paying off all my fines and bail fees (about 4000 dollars) so I'll be able to start fresh..... again.

I'll be selling my car within the month so if you want a 98 mustang with a 06 engine lemme know cause I'm selling it and buying a motorcycle. I found out my drivers license has nothing to do with my Motorcycle license except for the points on my driving record (6), for insurance. A broker will set me up with insurance for about 225 a month with full coverage and gas is like 3 dollars for 64 miles. (Bout 10 bucks for a car).

Back to the original point.

There's a lot of things I'm suppressing and it is coming out in random bits of rage and frustration. Not some breaking or punching people type shit just almost P.M.S. like mood swings. I need therapy, as much as I hate it. If I can't have therapy, I need to go back to boxing. That worked just the same. One way or another I need to get this shit outa me cause it's slowin me down and I need to be doin it movin. Especially as of late.