My Vehicle.

I'm not a person who conforms to rules or even other peoples schedule that well, so you can imagine the frustration my mother has put me through in taking my car.  I love being the leader and hate following others and the fact that I've been made a, "passenger", in more than one sense, my skin has acquired a itch i can no longer scratch.  She sold my jeep for no clear reason but to give me a renewed sense of, "ownership", but nothing is learned when you already feel you own the car?  I totally understand how some kids can do for themselves because their families can't do for them, but when your mother drives around in an audi it's kind of annoying watching her pull out the driveway and cruise down you street and yo have o walk down that same street.

When I see a navy blue jeep wrangler drive down the street I can honestly say I fantasize about stealing, on some grand theft auto type shit. Like i wanna yank him out the car, say, "fuck you", and burn rubber down Ventura.  Now I say this with no true intent for I already have enough legal issues, so please don't bug me about it.  But I hope in giving you a closer realistic glimpse at my frustrated psyche, that you can truly understand my anger towards my mother selling my vehicle. 

Wow.

These past few months I can honestly say I've learned a lot about myself.  

Shit.

I've learned alot about other people also.

Alot of friends i considered faithful are actually fake. 

My best of friends have been the biggest of disappointments.

 Truly.

I realize that when I do get back on my feet, which I will, I will no longer do for others as i once did.

I still refuse to get belligerent over simple shit because you need to realize who is going to peak in these next years, *cough*, and who is actually going somewhere in life.

I have sooo much i could go on about in these past few months but I realize a main outlet I've been ignoring is my writing, and bottling things up.

Had a long conversation with my mother and have realized why I've been struggling so hard and why she's been allowing it.  You have to do for yourself, because at the end of the day thats all you have. Shes agreed to ease up and take me car shoping for a used car.  

I now realize why she had so much in her checking.

Eh, niggas who are jealous when you are up, only seem to gloat about helpin you when you down.

Shits funny cause im stressin so hard but im only 18.

I got my whoole life ahead of me.

Ok. My Favorite By Far.

Kid Kudi Is The Hottest Shit Out No Lie.

Mm.

Well its been a minute.

Havent been in the writing mood cause shits been kinda grim.

Over the high off leaving home for a second and I'm not missin it or nuthin but the absence of money hits harder than you think.  

It's kind of sad i miss home not for the feeling of home but because I have no support financially.  I guess my mothers random 20 here or there did make a difference.

Was babygirl's birthday and I swear I'm never happier than when she is.

Went flag football today and took a gnarly hit to the face when i tackled this old nigga.  Kinda mad Gian couldnt come but it was hella white folks anyway.

Still tryna work out who I am as a man but at this age your supposed to be confused right?

Don't even know what to say.

Listenin to alot of blu & exile.

Keeps my mood up.