Is it my fault?

Is it my fault that i have such a hard time to trust; or is it the positions I clearly throw myself in feet first.

I'm tired of putting others ahead of me for lately I'm left weary and tired from all the extra shit not involving me.

I try to trust; but the fact that my cynical mind is often right just leaves me in my shell.

Yes i try to crawl out every now and then, but i mean shit.

Hard to say you can trust when my "brother" who i thought i knew best turned into the ignorant niggas I disregard, within just a 2 month period time.

I'm really trying to contemplate what it is i want or need.

I haven't been able to live inside the comfort of my head due to my now shared psyche with my wife.

 I accept this.

But that to is hard, when my trust is strung on the tightest of ropes where all that i have left is my general love.

Ha....

Love.

Who thought I'd ever be saying those words...

But as the one year rolls around i find myself needing nothing but her support and mind.

Man.

I'm fighting the feeling of hopelessness for that is far from who I am.

I always have a will; thus I'll always have a way.